Milanese, innamorarsi in metro è bellissimo

I milanesi sono tutti divisi in parti tre. La prima parte è quella dei party, dei sarty e del “che fai il week end, parti?”. La seconda parte parteggia per l’inter, vota assessori che fanno i capricci e poi dicono “non è colpa mia, sono un architetto” e comprano costosti tweed di marca a poco costosi outlet di marca. La terza parte è la seconda, ma tifa milan. Tutte e tre queste parti protestano perché Giuliano vuole mettere una tassa sul traffico.

Io odio l’ambiente. Non credo all’effetto serra, non considero un problema andare a caccia, fare e vestire pelliccie, eliminare i cani randagi pericolosi, allevare grandi quantità di animali in piccoli spazi, uccidere gli animali in genere, se per uno scopo sensato (come mangiare, vestirsi o compiere sacrifici ad Apollo).

Io odio l’ambiente, però di Milano, che è pure la mia città, odio ancora di più l’aria che sa di carburatore, l’acqua che puzza, i capelli sporchi di smog 10 minuti dopo la doccia e l’odore delle mani dopo una passeggiata in centro. E il rumore. Anche e soprattutto, di Milano non sopporto il rumore.

Giuliano, in questi giorni ho capito che non verrai mai più rieletto: il milanese non ti vota, se gli tocchi l’idrocarburo. Vai sereno, quindi. Vai e fai quello che devi fare. Quello che deve fare qualsiasi forza politica moderna e sensata. Fai piste ciclabili. Tassa gli inquinatori. Implementa il trasporto pubblico. Riduci i parcheggi. Multa chi sosta in doppia fila. Rendi la vita impossibile agli atomobilisti. E’ per questo che ti ho votato, Giuliano. Per épater e per faire moi respirer.

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17 Responses to “Milanese, innamorarsi in metro è bellissimo”

  1. Peter Faraguns

    Milano est omnia divisa in partes tres.

  2. Alberto

    Si vede che hai fatto un istituto tecnico.

  3. Sara

    Finalmenteee!!! Grazie Albe, almeno tu. E grazie Giuliano (che io non ho votato!).

  4. stronzo fottiti

    MA che cazzo vuoi?? Se non ti piace Milano stattene a casa tua, tu e quel coglione di Pisapia!!!

  5. Alberto

    Ma zio, figa, è il benessere!

  6. Margot

    Il punto è che innamorarsi in metro è davvero bellissimo.
    E in tram lo è ancora di più, soprattutto su quelli gialli, che ti permettono di voltarti in su un’ultima volta, dopo aver sceso le scale.

    Stronzo Fottiti è un bellissimo nome.
    Di soprannome fai Poveretto?

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